Feeling Pretty proud of me sen

Off to London later, I am really really looking forward to switching off, seeing sights of London I haven’t seen before, catching up wi our Harry and possibly my crazy, Irish cousin.

This week has been a tough one, but I have to say I am pretty proud of how I dealt with some of the shit that has come in my direction. Now don’t get me wrong, its not all been shit, its national recovery month, my favourite work month of the year. Being surrounded by miracles, inspiring people, inspiring stories, recovery month just reinforces how lucky I am to have a job I love AND get paid for it. I literally get a high feeling being surrounded by these inspiring souls, infact, If one could live without money, I could quite simply work with people in recovery for nothing.  I reckon you will still see me volunteering a day a week after I retire – “when ever thats gonna fucking happen, cos at this rate the official retirement age is looking like its gonna be 90”.

There have been a couple of evenings this week, when I have woken in the middle of the time, thinking about work, well I should say worrying about work related issues. One time, which I’m pretty impressed wi me sen, I just got up outta bed, had to run downstairs bollock naked for a pen, run back up, put the small light on me mobile phone and wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I just dowloaded all the ideas, thoughts onto paper and “abracadabra” Ive only just drafted a comms plan for best Bar None “next fucking year”. The ideas were flowing they were keeping me awake, and I knew I wouldn’t sleep, because I’d be worrying about forgetting all those great ideas. 

Then there have been a couple of work related issues that normally would have sent me turrets into hyper mode. But instead of replaying incidents, scenarios around in my head, which would only trigger feelings of anxiety and stress, I took the thoughts, put them in front of me, deconstructed them, took some time to thing about them, asked myself what was I “assuming about these issues” , looked at the facts and #hadawordwimesen.

The website isn’t called #shithappens for nothing, I know I like swearing, its a form of expression for me, its who I am, but reality is that shit does happen all the FUCKING time and most of it is out of our CONTROL, but I am genuinely starting to realise that just because shits happening around me, I DO have a CHOICE on how I respond to it. Trust me previously, dealing with similar issues, I would have been going on a ranting expedition, telling anyone and everyone how angry or frustrated I was, doing their heads in as well, no doubt. 

But I can honestly say that giving myself some space and time, just an hour in the morning to download my shit in me diary, is really helping me to be able to step back, de-construct, review, think about how that situation is making me feel, ask myself what “what can I do?” Be clear about “what I cant do or change” and give myself a fucking break!

So despite this week being a mixed bag of miracles and shit, I have still managed to maintain some calm, managed to stay relaxed, managed to keep focused, managed to be productive, I have achieved what I wanted to do, knowing that this weekend away, I will be able to “switch off”  and CHILL

So on that note, I’m off, no thinking or worrying for me for the next four days, just time to chill, suck in my environment for the weekend, chill and have a few laughs wi the old man, and see me mates, until I return next week and throw mesen back into the fucking rat race we call life.

Love Fordy