Taking responsibility for our own thinking

I’m renown for coining the phase shit happens, it frequently rolls off my tongue, much to the annoyance of my kids. Or another personal favourite is, “It is what it is.” Now my kids do hate this one, I’m sure that sometimes they think I don’t care or I’m not listening but what I am trying to say is if you can’t change something, focus more on trying to accept it in its entirety, no ifs or buts, and move on. 

 

“Next…… ”

 

At the moment life can feel like a shower of shit what with COVID and the pressure to keep all social contact to a minimum, this is a particularly big ask when, much of our social interaction with family, friends and peer support groups is the only thing that helps keep them sane. 

 

This new way of living has forced many of us to rely less on others and focus on relying on ourselves. COVID has inadvertently forced many people to stop, think and reflect on what matters. But for some being afforded more time to think has been like being gifted a poisoned chalice and they cannot cope and miss the welcome distraction of work and their lives pre COVID. 

 

Over recent months, in particular, I have sat, listened and read people, who in my humble opinion are wasting precious energy and time thinking, fixating, rehashing, dwelling in things that have either happened in the past or even worse about what might happen in the future, which quite frankly is more insane considering none of us can predict the future, not even mystic fucking meg. 

 

This kind of thinking can be debilitating, there is sooo much shit that goes off in our lives that we cannot control and yet many still try. What concerns me more is the number of people who take their thinking for granted. Who don’t understand or recognise how what they think, or allow themselves to think can and does influence how they feel. And ultimately how they act OR React? or realise that if they focused on their mental health, how they can support and help their emotional health.

 

Now I’m not saying it’s easy, fuck me there are days when I spend far too much time being distracted by other people’s shit, thinking about different scenarios or things I cannot change, it’s like having squatters living rent-free in my head. But it does get easier and I promise the more you practice on focusing on the present and what you are thinking you will find yourself less distracted by thoughts from the past or the future for that matter. 

 

The more self-aware you become, the more you will start to notice when the piss-taking squatters have moved in and learn how to evict their sorry assess outta ya head. I often find that… 

 

Banging on some positive tunes normally does the trick, drowning squatters out with songs by M People, or my personal fave “Best thing that happened to me” by told Glady’s Night. 

 

Keep a Journal, it’s my safe space for putting my thoughts down on paper, I often re-read it back and wonder “What the fuck were you thinking” 

 

Think about what you are thinking – for example, are you thinking about your goals? Or are you thinking about the barriers to your goals?

 

Reach out – Call or facetime a friend or someone you can trust, I know it’s not the same as being with them, but it’s a good second best

 

Try different things – if there’s one thing I have learned it’s what might work for one person won’t for another there are loads of help out there that we can try to help ourselves – https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/your-mind-plan-quiz/ 

 

The last word – we cannot control everything in our lives, but we can control and take some responsibility about how we think about it and how we deal with it… after all, SHIT HAPPENS, always does and always will…

 

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Remember I don’t write for financial reward or gain, I just want to help share my lived experience with others in the hope that it helps. And I just love to write, so if ya fancy getting the occasional email with the most up to date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.