A True Story He called it love But it didn’t feel like love to her To the outside world He was the perfect guy It was like he could walk on water But unbeknown to her She was just another lamb to the slaughter Like butter wouldn’t melt She had to disguise how she really […]
Category: Co-dependancy
The therapeutic act of writing
For years after Dad’s death, I would often dream of Dad. Unfortunately, most felt more like nightmares. The most common one was that he was alive, but I could never work out how? The memories of his burial would be clear as day in my mind, stood by his grave, throwing in a single red […]
If you thought living with someone misusing substances is tough, spare a thought for those who have lost someone to substance abuse.
According to statistics, up to three people are adversely affected by one person’s substance misuse. But I know it is far more. It’s been over fifteen years since I lost my father to alcoholism, and it still affects me to this day. It is especially hard when I hear about another person, someone I know […]
End of care for problematic substance misuse – Who decides?
Caring for Dad during the end stages of his Alcoholism has to be one of the most traumatic experiences I had ever done through, even my brush with addiction couldn’t have prepared me or my sister for this journey we were about to embark on. The more I write about Dad and his story, the […]
“Help me up, I’m going for a pint” – The dark side of Alcoholism
Asking someone to consider stopping using drink or drugs, can be like asking a child to give up their comfort blanket. Dealing with the tantrums and denial was exhausting. Unfortunately, Dads comfort blanket ended up suffocating him. “Help me up, I’m going for a pint” These were the words from a 55 years old man, […]
Life after caring – The void
Writing is my therapy, it’s my escape, a place to think, without interruption. Particularly lately what with the incessant negative news and views about society, COVID, BLM the economy, sometimes it’s easy to forget that amongst all these issues is that there are still millions of people who are afflicted by addiction, but that […]
Families & Friends of Addicts Coming Together
To stay or Walk away, that is the million-dollar question? Families can often feel like bystanders watching in dismay as the addict’s actions and behaviours change, turning their loved ones into someone they barely recognise. I can still hear my mother share how she felt in a film (Putting it into words) made by families […]
You have heard about second-hand smoking, but have you heard of second hand-drinking?
So back in the day second-hand smoking really changed public opinion and paved the way for legislation to make bars and public places smoke-free. There was some resistance, I resisted it myself particularly when us smokers weren’t allowed to smoke in say pubs or in shopping centers. When the impact of second-hand smoke was explained, […]
Boundaries aren’t just an enforcement tactic but a form of self care
I don’t ever recall the word boundary being mentioned much growing up, my interpretation of a boundary looked like rules. Rules that had consequences if tested or broken – and trust me I broke many. People misunderstand the purpose of boundaries; more often than not they are perceived as being a tactic or an enforcement tool […]
When tough love is no longer an option – Understanding End of Stage Alcoholism
I find it hard sometimes working in the recovery field, in one breath I am promoting recovery and that it is possible, but in the other breath, I know that this isn’t always the case. I use the Prochaska and DiClementi’s cycle of change a lot in my work (see diagram below) it is a […]
