We’ve all had those moments when life nudges us to pause, breathe, and, yes, I will say it, “have a word with ourselves.”
But self-enquiry doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means having the courage to ask.
Having a word with yourself is not about telling yourself off; it’s about tuning yourself in.
Deep down, most of us don’t crave perfection, achievement, or acclaim. It’s internal peace. But peace isn’t a given. It is earned through self-discovery, much like assembling a jigsaw puzzle, can at times feel messy and overwhelming but also incredibly rewarding. In this blog I wanted to take the Jigsaw Analogy one step further,
So lets go…
Imagine your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as scattered puzzle pieces and the box they come in. That’s your discomfort, your unrest.
On the lid of the box is a picture: a complete and contented version of your most authentic self.
Some puzzles are small and straightforward others are larger and more complex, with pieces that don’t seem to belong anywhere.
More often than not, we start with the edges, the easy wins, the patterns we know, like beliefs we’ve inherited, emotions we’ve labelled, thoughts we’ve repeated.
And as the border forms, we begin to feel that flicker of progress, a sense of achievement
But then…..
Soon, as we start going inwards, it becomes harder to make sense of anything. The picture on the box lid starts to feel impossible to complete. The temptation to sweep all the pieces back into the box to hide our discomfort, deny our emotions, and silence our inner voice becomes louder, tempting us to chuck the puzzle in the bin.
But here’s the trick to personal development:
You don’t put the lid back on the box or throw it in the bin, but Instead…
• Sit with the discomfort. Trace around the edges and acknowledge that you made a start, and feel proud of what you have already achieved
• For all the pieces that you haven’t slotted into place yet, remind yourself that you will eventually find its rightful place
• When you do find a piece that fits and slots into place, celebrate it and pat yourself on the back
• Keep reminding yourself that it’s okay if you don’t finish the puzzle today, the pieces will always be there, waiting for you to pick up where you left off
Progress Over Perfection
Self-enquiry doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means having the courage to ask. To look within. To stay curious, even when the pieces don’t make sense. So next time life feels like a scattered puzzle, take a breath, have a word with yourself, and then… start looking again place the next piece.
The journey inward toward understanding yourself can feel daunting. But self-enquiry is not about solving yourself like a math problem; it’s about observing your thoughts and emotions with kindness, curiosity, and courage. I have taken this concept one step further and tried to break it done into manageable steps, like sorting through pieces on a jigsaw puzzle.
1. Get Comfortable with Stillness
The first step isn’t doing—it’s being. Carve out moments in your day where you sit quietly, free from distraction. This might initially feel uncomfortable, but stillness creates space for your inner voice to whisper rather than shout.
Try this: Set a timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes. Notice your breath. Don’t judge, just observe.
2. Ask yourself Open-Ended Questions.
Self-enquiry starts with the art of asking, not answering. The questions should gently open doors, not demand conclusions.
• “What am I feeling right now?”
• “Where did this reaction come from?”
• “What do I need rather than what do I want?”
Try this: Jot these down in a journal. Let them simmer.
3. Befriend Discomfort
That sinking sensation in your gut, or the tightness in your chest—that’s not a warning bell to run. It’s an invitation to lean in, because it’s in those moments of discomfort that the missing jigsaw piece that has been eluding you will eventually reveal itself,
4. Practice Patience
If the picture isn’t coming together immediately, try resisting the urge to “force fit” pieces. Some insights take days, months, or even years to reveal themselves. Your job isn’t to rush but to remain present.
5. Practice Self-Kindness
Above all, be kind to yourself. This isn’t a race. Every attempt at looking inward is a courageous act. Celebrate small moments of clarity. Applaud yourself for simply showing up to the process.
One final note
Having a word with yourself’ isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about meeting yourself wherever you are with bucket loads of compassion and faith. Our puzzles don’t need to be perfect; they just need your presence.
Love Tracey
#UnapologeticWriter
Remember – I don’t write for financial reward or gain. I want to help share my lived experience with others, hoping it helps. Plus, I love to write, so if you fancy getting the occasional email (NO SPAM) with the most up-to-date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.