Connecting the Dots – Everything Happens for a Reason

 I’ve never considered myself religious, but I am deeply spiritual. I hold onto the belief that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason takes time to reveal itself, but eventually, it always does.

It saddens me that so many people rush through life without pausing to connect the dots of their journey.

Life plants seeds in unexpected places, and only when we stop to reflect do we see how those seeds grew into opportunities, lessons, and transformations.

Reflection is powerful. Taking time to Have A Word With Ourselves allows us to see not just where we’ve been, but how each step has shaped who we are today. So, let me share part of my own journey—how the dots began to connect and led me to where I am now, working on my second book, one that will amplify the voices of women in recovery worldwide.

The First Dot: The Reluctant Interview

Three years ago, I reluctantly agreed to meet a PhD student researching women in recovery through Photovoice. I was busy, overwhelmed, and honestly didn’t want to do it. The only reason I said yes was that she was supervised by someone I worked with.

I didn’t know then that this meeting would change the course of my life. That student, Mulka Nisic, wasn’t just a researcher; she had lived experience. She understood recovery not only academically but also personally. She was globally connected, working with WFAD and other international groups.

What I realised: Never make assumptions about people before you meet them (lesson learned, lol). I also felt an instant connection; it was like talking to an old friend. What changed: I committed to supporting her PhD, helping raise women’s voices in recovery and amplifying stories too often overlooked.

The Second Dot: Global Connection

Soon after, meeting Mulka I rallied more women from Sheffield to join the Photovoice project. Together, we attended an online meeting with women from around the world.

 What I realised: Despite cultural and language differences, our stories were strikingly similar. My journey wasn’t unique; women everywhere were navigating recovery with resilience and hope. What changed: That flicker of inspiration grew into a flame. I felt part of something bigger, something global.

The Third Dot: Purpose Ignited

The women from Sheffield didn’t just participate in the project; they didn’t want it to end, they wanted to keep meeting and keep building on the connections we had forged. This wasn’t just research anymore; it was a movement.

What I realised: We were onto something powerful, and we established SWIPE What changed: For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I had found my purpose, my true calling.

The Fourth Dot: United Nations

Mulka invited me to join her at the United Nations to share my involvement in the Photovoice project. Standing there, surrounded by passionate women from across the globe, was surreal; it was like a networking event on steroids.

What I realised: I wasn’t a lone wolf. The imposter syndrome I had carried for years began to lift. What changed: My network expanded. Once again, I discovered women like me on a similar mission—to elevate the voices of women in recovery. My confidence grew, and my commitment deepened.

The Fifth Dot: Creativity Unleashed

Later, that year, the Recovery Street Film Festival were calling for submissions. Something inside me compelled me to write a poem—Don’t Underestimate a Woman in Recovery. That poem went on to win the 2024 award.

What I realised: I was still working on my own memoir and had been dabbling in poetry, but now I felt like I was also a poet. What changed: I started to fully embrace my creative voice, recognising my talent as a writer.

The Sixth Dot: Legacy Letters
Out of nowhere, [I still cannot recall how?] I was invited to contribute to My Intentional Life, Crafting Your Legacy, One Day at a Time A book being published in America with 365 legacy letters. The short legacy letters contained the lived experiences of people navigating life around some key themes. The book aimed to offer daily inspiration to help inspire young adults navigating life. I wasn’t getting paid, but that didn’t matter. Just as long as I could share my lived experience with others

What I realised: If even one person resonated with my words, it was worth it.
What changed: When the book arrived at my doorstep, I was inspired. I saw the potential to replicate the concept—this time with 365 letters written by women who have walked similar paths.

The Seventh Dot: Becoming a Published Author

I never aspired to write another book. But holding My Intentional Life in my hands, I realised it was the perfect framework to create something similar only this time for women in recovery. I even came up with a name: Whispers from the Heart. This book will offer solidarity, wisdom, and encouragement to women who feel uncertain or “on the fence” about recovery. It will be a companion for those embarking on journeys of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.

It’s for women who have buried their dreams to keep the peace, put others first, or been shamed for being sensitive. For those who smile in public but cry in private, who feel invisible in crowded rooms, or who have mastered the art of pretending they’re okay. It’s for those carrying generational wounds, living someone else’s life, or outgrowing their old selves without knowing who they are becoming. For those aching for connection but fearing rejection, wanting love without performance, or craving softness without shame.

However, unlike my memoir, I won’t be embarking on this journey alone. I’ll be working with Mulka, weaving in the twelve thematic themes from her PhD research.

What I realised: That reluctant meeting I had with Mulka three years ago was meant to happen. What changed: I don’t yet know, but I do know the next book is imminent. Keep a lookout for updates and your opportunity to contribute.

To be continued…

Reflection Prompt for You
Take a moment to map your own journey. Ask yourself:

• What opportunities have come your way?
• What did you realise or learn from them?
• How did they change you?

Love Fordy

AKA #UnapologeticWriter

Remember – I don’t write for financial reward or gain. I want to help share my lived experience with others, hoping it helps. Plus, I love to write, so if you fancy getting the occasional email (NO SPAM) with the most up-to-date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.