Can anyone help me find my Mojo?
I’m not sure where she’s gone.
Maybe she saw my to do list and panicked,
Either way, she’s stayed away far too long.
It’s not the first time she’s legged it,
And it’s always on the days I’m feeling low
On the days I’m steadying the shake inside my chest,
Fighting a storm, only I seem to know.
I wonder if she’s curled up close with self esteem,
Who I know has been hurting of late
Bruised by critical self doubt
And a heartbeat she can’t seem to quiet or placate.
Or maybe she’s with motivation,
The pair of them are always running late
Slipping off down backstreets I can’t follow,
Leaving me standing here arguing the toss with my fate.
Or is she tangled up with hesitation,
That lass who feels slightly unsure
The one who lets doubt sit heavily on her shoulder,
And while she wishes she could love herself more.
Perhaps she’s with self-discipline,
Who can wander off for days
Sometimes I see them in the distance, laughing
And mocking me in their quiet and cutting ways.
Or maybe she’s crossed paths with my hormones,
And they’ve gone rogue for the day
Tearing around like queens of chaos,
Sucking all my fire and energy away.
Whilst she’s been missing for days
I’ve been wandering around in a stubborn haze
Wrestling thoughts that won’t stay quiet
Rising like ghosts, I thought I’d packed away.
I’m starting to get tired of looking,
Of chasing shadows just in case
Because every time I think I’m near her,
She slips through my fingers without leaving a trace.
Hopefully, she’ll soon get tired of circling my shadows,
Get sick of the stories I’ve no use for anymore
She’ll get fed up with guarding the ghosts I’ve outgrown,
And she’ll head back when I stop dragging my past round the floor.
So, I have made a decision
I’m gonna loosen my grip
On the parts of myself I keep trying to outgrow
Because maybe when I stop driving myself ragged
That’s when my mojo will finally make a show
Love Fordy
#unapologeticwriter
#haveawordwithyourself
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Gorgeous Tracey and thank you for writing what we all feel at times, and I love the sentiment you’ve expressed.
Be kind to yourself – we should all do this. And for what it’s worth – you’re amazing! Think quiet times and the odd reflection about what you’ve achieved are always good. Hope you feel better soon x
Aw, thank you for reaching out, it means a lot I’m just fucking shattered, I think and am ready for a break
What Katy H said and it sounds like you need a timely guilt free rest. Xx
I do that mrs x hope you are keeping well, have you been nominated for a BAFTA yet 🙂
I totally had this feeling for a few week’s since I have become more available to myself. To stop and look back to all the stuff that drove me mad yet I craved has now become a roll that reminds me of the Ruth that is broken and the only person she has is me. The truth of me is realisation on many levels. To be still with myself is massive so my beautiful Tracey thanks to you and your life experiences I have been able to continue forward in my journalism I definitely needed to see this message from you today.
Awe Love thee Mrs – I’m just about to log off and go for a walk to spend some quality me time with mesen