Recovery isn’t a destination; it’s a journey.
For years, people told me to fake it until I made it.
Only it was getting harder to hide my fears and doubts and pretend I’d got life all figured out.
Always afraid I’d soon be found out.
At times, I was an emotional wreck and felt out of control.
But I knew I needed to get out of this black hole.
The problem was
I wasn’t sure which direction to go.
But I did know I was getting tired of faking it.
I was getting sick and tired of fighting with my ego, which was like an out-of-control torpedo.
I was sick of being judged and constantly misunderstood.
I realised that if I was ever going to make it, I had no choice but to go back to basics.
I started by cutting out the external chatter and developed new ways to have my own internal natter.
It wasn’t until I started to dig deep inside that I found that was where my true, authentic self had been trying to hide.
I soon found that my failures would become my saviours.
They helped me identify my flaws. Which in turn opened new doors
And then I grew wings that enabled me to soar
Which helped me to become a better version of the person I was before.
Hope was the only thing that ignited my inner fire and helped guide me to my hidden desires.
Faith was the light that guided me through the dark; it was the glue that kept me from falling apart.
Sometimes, it was only a dim light in my dark, but it was always bright enough to stoke the fire in my heart.
It was the strength that has helped me overcome; it’s been the fuel that kept me moving on.
I eventually started to take more risks and leaps of faith into the unknown.
Sometimes, it was frightening, but at other times it was exciting.
Eventually, those risks opened doors I never knew existed, giving me the courage to guide myself through life unassisted.
I soon found my purpose.
I found new ways to enrich my soul, which eventually helped me achieve my desired goals.
For years, I walked this path alone.
That was until I encountered others who had found themselves in the same boat.
Who’d been faking life for years, trying their best to stay afloat?
And just like me, they’d made a decree to become a better version of the person they wanted to be.
It felt a relief to know I wasn’t alone
And that I no longer needed to fake it.
Cos, let’s face it:
None of us ever really make it.
Whatever ‘it’ is.
Finally, I’m happy and have learned that it’s okay to be me.
Because I’m finally on the right path to becoming the person I was always meant to be
Remember Shithappens – it’s what you do with it that counts.
Love Fordy
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