Wanting to be heard

 

Hi guys

Its been a while, but thats because alot has been happening, life, work, relationships, worrying, overthinking etc etc… After building up some overtime, over the past couple of weeks, i decided to use it and take a much needed day off yesterday.  And i soooo needed some “time out”, some time to think, some time to reflect and to basically #haveawordwimesen.

I  find that it is soooo easy to fall back into the rat race we call “life”.  Falling back into the bullshit of what is or isnt socially acceptable. Lately, I have been questioning my personal boundaries, and have kinda been feeling like have been compromising myself, which quite frankly has left me feeling like me head is up me fucking arse!

So basically on my day off,  Just pottered around, catching up on house work catching up with good freinds,  had some amazing conversations with people who i trust, people who get me and during one of these conversations yesterday someone said “your a humanist” which left me thinking, “what the fuck does that mean?” they shared how they saw me, wanting the best out of others, being passionate about others and that, this isnt a bad trait to have.  To be honest i was flattered, because i really do care, so much so I find myself frequently questioning myself “Do I care too much?” 

I dont necessarily like labels, or being categorised,  it kinda takes me back to being young and back to those feeling’s of being misunderstood,  but i do understand that for many people, they can help to make sense and give some order to peoples life’s. my own included, so i decided this morning to look up Humanism…..

So according to Wikipedia Humanism is a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism and empiricism) over acceptance of dogma or superstition.

I even I learned that there is a whole fucking Humanist movement, BUT please dont worry guys, I aint going no-where, i’m not about to start shaving me head, running off to a comune, or even worse turning “VEGAN” But i have just been taking a little look around this site and taking the bits what I relate to, so if i was to catagorise / label myself, it would be a humanist. If you would like to take a look, thee sen click here 

So my take on it all is,  basically a humanist is someone  who shape’s their own lives in the here and now, because they believe it’s the only life we have!

This just reinforced everything i have been trying to say all along, and goes back to what i have been trying to say in these in these BLOGS  #shithappens all the time, its “How you deal with it that counts”. Fuck societies expectations, because quite frankly we can and will never, ever be able to meet all of them! AND we have a choice about what expectations we place on ourselves, which is where #Havingawordwiyasen comes to play, because if you dont take the time out to think about “what it is YOU want” How will you ever know?

 

So after much, self questioning and self interrogation i have come to understand that i believe in “some” of the humanist values. These same values are the ones that make me who i am, which is a genuine, passionate, caring individual, who believes that “everyone” has the right to be heard, listened to.

Apparently my grammar still needs some work, but do you know what? I dont fucking care, because, if you can read it, understand it, and in my humble humanistic opinion thats all that matters!  For thousands of years, humans simply used grammar without much concern for any hard-and-fast rules, well not until the grammer police turned up,  a group of Elitist who decided that there should / ought to be rules about how something is said or written, seriously google it! Theres friggin tonnes written about it.

So please accept my apologies in advance, before moving forward, whilst I am committed to working on trying to perfect my writing style, I have taken the decision to “Not give a FUCK” about my grammer, I have reasoned that if i ever did want to publish, i can just get the grammer police in, who do know the rules.

I am dedicating this Blog to a guy called Dave, dave is another very compassionate, wise, educated and passionate individual, who is currently trying to find his way in life.

All Dave wants is to “Be heard” not to be famous or  be the next new activist, but “just to be heard” Just to be listened to! now is that such a bad thing? I wrote this for Dave after hearing that after 4 months sober, Dave had made a decision to “have a blow out”. Upon hearing this news, some people freaked out, and to be perfectly honest I did too, hence this poem, but i  genuinely  believe that Dave will be ok, drinking or not, after all he is only human.

Ps, I have the permission off Dave to use this pic and share this with you, he doesnt care, because he cannot read or write, all that matters to him, is being heard

Dave did you know that not all super hero’s wear capes?

You have been on my mind of late

I remember the day well

The day I finally met you

Your date in court

You were a broken man, some guy on his knee’s

Claiming “no one knew your needs”

But then…

Just like one of thee mothers rabbit’s 

Scared to come out, buried in thee warren 

Asking thee sen “When is it going to happen?”

You took a risk, and dared to come out of your hole 

This was the first time I really saw into your soul

I have seen you transform from an old guy

Too old for his time 

To a guy, with courage and pride with nothing to hide

You smile is contagious and your whit know’s no bounds

You dared to risk , to try some thing new

Holding your head held high

With nothing to prove

Your questioning yourself, “and thats ok!” 

I promise you

Living in my own skin sometimes too, makes me feel like running away 

Your just questioning yourself, and again “thats ok”

I promise you mate, I do this myself EVERY day

But Dave, don’t you see?

Just how far you have come 

So you’ve had a blip, so what?

Thats part of the process

Dont give up and throw away what you have gained 

Life is fucking scary, I give you that

Are you really going to throw away all you have achieved 

And drown your sorrows Into the bottom of a bottle?

I have had the pleasure and honour, to watch you grow, from that man, I first met

I know you don’t know me

But I know who you are 

I’ve seen you achieve 

I’ve seen you believe

Your “David Betts”

Please don’t throw yourself away

You have got so much to offer

I know you cant see it, right now

But trust me when I say, there is more to life going back to staring  

at the bottom of that “fucking bottle”

Don’t do it for me, 

Don’t do it for your mom

Do this your ya sen, you are worth much more

Fuck off that bottle, reach for that cape

You are my hero, I know you don’t see it 

But I see you Dave, the potential to be a GREAT mate 

Tha knows where I am