I’m not searching for perfection, just a better version of me

And neither are you!

Its been a good weekend so far, despite still feeling a little under the weather, I have made sure I have put myself first. I have indulged in some quality time with the grandson, making memories. I have written a fair bit in the book, reflecting on times in my past that I would rather forget, BUT and here is the BUT, I can honestly say had I not gone through that pain, misery I wouldn’t be who I am today, so rather than be morbid or mope about the house, I chose to recall the moments I overcame, the courage I found when I thought none existed and remind myself, I haven’t been perfect, I haven’t made the best life decisions and that’s ok because none of us are perfect and actually owning our imperfections can actually serve to make us wiser and a more humble version of ourselves.

None of us will ever, ever be perfect 100% of the time, it’s physically impossible.

We have all  at times in our lives achieved some personal greatness,  overcome some emotional feets, gotten over a relationship that we thought we never could, achieved great things in work, that we thought we might never achieve, whatever it is that you have fought hard to overcome, whatever challenge, after all the pain you had to endure to overcome that challenge, you survived, you overcame. You should never forget those memories, now I am not saying you should relive them every day, fuck me we would get anything done, but they can serve as a reminder and help shape who you can be going forward.

These challenges left us feeling good about ourselves, raised our self-esteem, helped change how we see ourselves,  helped change how we feel about ourselves, helped inform future decisions moving forward.

I have many, many memories of being hurt, but also have the memories of overcoming and moving on and getting on with my life. I don’t have a plan, I don’t have any great aspirations, all I want from life is to make through each day, being the best I can, doing the best for me, to do the best for those I love around me, to do the best for strangers in need who I may never even meet.

I don’t care about all the materialistic shit, after all, an inanimate object cannot make me love myself or like myself more, the only thing that can truly do that for me is me.

Whatever you are doing today, please try to be kind to yourself, give yourself a break, do something for you or what you want to do. For me, I will be cranking up the music and cleaning this lovely but messy house.

Have a good en, love Fordy

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