Ruby Wax, Frazzled, I started reading this last night, a little weary I downloaded the sample for going for the full purchase and after reading a couple of chapters I have been hooked ever since and I reckon this will be one of those books I will go back to time and time again.
If you haven’t read it before then I would recommend you do. I did not know that ruby wax has got a”Masters in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy from Oxford.” I have previously read a little about mindfulness and I suppose I am practicing this in my own way every morning tapping away on this keyboard, setting the alarm for 6 am to allow myself an hour or more to myself, in my own thoughts without any outside distractions. Precious time to #haveawodwimesen and give myself some time to deal with the more important distractions that take place in me head, which for me I believe is doing a little more than breathing techniques. Whilst there is a place and apparently, research that supports the benefits of mindfulness, mindfulness helps you focus on how your thoughts are affecting your senses, anxiety, your emotions. I did actually wonder if she had been reading my blogs, when she talks about shit happening and learning to accept that most of it is out of our control, but “the key to dealing with shit is how we deal with it”, last night at 11.30 I sat back and felt incredibly, smug about myself concluding I must be smart and intuitive too! I reasoned with myself that I don’t need to do a masters at Oxford to justify or prove to myself that this #havingawordwithesen malkarly has improved how I think, how I approach shit in life now, like deadlines, dealing with Fuckwits, (essentially a stupid person) though they might be less stupid if they themselves started having a word with themselves!.
Who would have thought that my passion, desire to write a book, writing about my own personal experiences with addiction would have led me to be a better version of myself? That same old drive and passion to write the book that was like a fucking itch that refused to disappear, despite all the ointments of excuses I used in the past, would eventually bring me here four months later, with my very own personal office space, my own MacBook Air, (that only has £100 quid left to pay on it then it is ALL mine), I no longer drink to excess on the weekends like I used to, much to the amusement of my mates who cannot quite believe I am now favoring non alcoholic beers. Can you believe that I have actually lost over 9lb in weight without doing any exercise? But regardless of the progress made in the book, the weight loss, the benefits of taking some time out for me, even if its half an hour a day, or doing something I want to do or more importantly saying no to something I don’t want to do has improved how I feel about myself no end. The previous habitual habit of waking up hungover on a weekend has been replaced with getting up at stupid o’clock to spend some time with me. I still suffer anxiety about not getting everything done or forgetting to do something I had committed myself to, but instead of mentally beating myself up I simply #haveawordwimesen and talk myself down from all the insane thoughts that permeate my noggin.
So I suppose what I am trying to say is Just for today, you don’t have to go light candles, or sit in the Sukhasana yoga position, which is more difficult to pronounce that it is to try and get ya fucking legs at 48 years old and to go places they haven’t been since I was 5, start by doing one thing, just one thing that YOU want to do, for YOU. Get up and leave the computer and go for a coffee, people watch, call a mate who you haven’t spoken to for awhile, just to say hi, go for a swift walk but most importantly when you hear yourself pulling ya sen down take a step back and strip apart the negative script in ya head and rewrite it in plain English, fish out the facts, are your thoughts facts or fears? most often they are not facts just fear masked as facts. ask yourself “What am I assuming about myself” if it’s not true then don’t listen #haveawordwitheesen and move on.
And on that note, I ought to get me sorry ass out of these Pj’s and get me ass into work, because that BBN application, the prep for the Purple flag assessment, preparations for the Help us Help Xmas stall ain’t going to write its self is it?
Love Fordy x