Gratitude after Addiction


I give up you won

Playing with you stopped bring fun


At first you played nice

But you never named your price


I couldn’t see it then

But you were always one step ahead

Always messing with my head


Thought I was strong

But boy was I wrong




Underneath your spell

But soon I became unwell


Amphetamine, ketamine the occasional trip

Swallowing it whole


Even though it made me gip


I played your game

I rolled your dices

Oblivious of the sacrifices


I lashed out at loved ones

Convinced that nobody cared


Too afraid to admit that deep down I was really scared


I’d lost sight of me

The person I was meant to be


When I hit my rock bottom

I was defeated and lost


I was shattered beyond recognition

Turns out it was to be the start of my very own mission


It was in my darkest hours

I salvaged some inner power


And I started to flower

And nuggets of gold started to unfold


I slowly worked through the pain that you inflicted

And came to understand how I became addicted


I played your game once

But I’ll never play it twice


I learned the hard way

That you don’t play nice


I am no longer ashamed of the games we played

There are no regrets of our adventures to hell


Because after all – had you not taken me there

I would never have broken your spell


So don’t you worry about me

You did me a favour

Don’t you see?


I now realise you were always wrong

And in fact, the games that we played

Played a role in making me strong


I sometimes look back at the games we used to play

And thank my lucky stars I chose a different way


I play my own game now

Where I make the rules


I’m no longer confused


Our games helped me find a part of me


The person I was always meant to be


Thank you for taking the time to read.

Remember I don’t write for financial reward or gain, I just want to help share my lived experience with others in the hope that it helps. And I just love to write, so if ya fancy getting the occasional email with the most up to date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.

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