I give up you won
Playing with you stopped bring fun
At first you played nice
But you never named your price
I couldn’t see it then
But you were always one step ahead
Always messing with my head
Thought I was strong
But boy was I wrong
Spellbound
Underneath your spell
But soon I became unwell
Amphetamine, ketamine the occasional trip
Swallowing it whole
Even though it made me gip
I played your game
I rolled your dices
Oblivious of the sacrifices
I lashed out at loved ones
Convinced that nobody cared
Too afraid to admit that deep down I was really scared
I’d lost sight of me
The person I was meant to be
When I hit my rock bottom
I was defeated and lost
I was shattered beyond recognition
Turns out it was to be the start of my very own mission
It was in my darkest hours
I salvaged some inner power
And I started to flower
And nuggets of gold started to unfold
I slowly worked through the pain that you inflicted
And came to understand how I became addicted
I played your game once
But I’ll never play it twice
I learned the hard way
That you don’t play nice
I am no longer ashamed of the games we played
There are no regrets of our adventures to hell
Because after all – had you not taken me there
I would never have broken your spell
So don’t you worry about me
You did me a favour
Don’t you see?
I now realise you were always wrong
And in fact, the games that we played
Played a role in making me strong
I sometimes look back at the games we used to play
And thank my lucky stars I chose a different way
I play my own game now
Where I make the rules
I’m no longer confused
Our games helped me find a part of me
The person I was always meant to be
Thank you for taking the time to read.
Remember I don’t write for financial reward or gain, I just want to help share my lived experience with others in the hope that it helps. And I just love to write, so if ya fancy getting the occasional email with the most up to date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.
