Gratitude after Addiction

 

I give up you won

Playing with you stopped bring fun

 

At first you played nice

But you never named your price

 

I couldn’t see it then

But you were always one step ahead

Always messing with my head

 

Thought I was strong

But boy was I wrong

 

Spellbound

 

Underneath your spell

But soon I became unwell

 

Amphetamine, ketamine the occasional trip

Swallowing it whole

 

Even though it made me gip

 

I played your game

I rolled your dices

Oblivious of the sacrifices

 

I lashed out at loved ones

Convinced that nobody cared

 

Too afraid to admit that deep down I was really scared

 

I’d lost sight of me

The person I was meant to be

 

When I hit my rock bottom

I was defeated and lost

 

I was shattered beyond recognition

Turns out it was to be the start of my very own mission

 

It was in my darkest hours

I salvaged some inner power

 

And I started to flower

And nuggets of gold started to unfold

 

I slowly worked through the pain that you inflicted

And came to understand how I became addicted

 

I played your game once

But I’ll never play it twice

 

I learned the hard way

That you don’t play nice

 

I am no longer ashamed of the games we played

There are no regrets of our adventures to hell

 

Because after all – had you not taken me there

I would never have broken your spell

 

So don’t you worry about me

You did me a favour

Don’t you see?

 

I now realise you were always wrong

And in fact, the games that we played

Played a role in making me strong

 

I sometimes look back at the games we used to play

And thank my lucky stars I chose a different way

 

I play my own game now

Where I make the rules

 

I’m no longer confused

 

Our games helped me find a part of me

 

The person I was always meant to be

 

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Remember I don’t write for financial reward or gain, I just want to help share my lived experience with others in the hope that it helps. And I just love to write, so if ya fancy getting the occasional email with the most up to date blogs from yours truly, please feel free to subscribe at the bottom of the main page.

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